Top 10 Tuesday is a weekly bookish meme hosted by @TheBrokeAndTheBookish. The aim is to make a list fitting the weekly theme. The goal for this list is naming 10 things, but more or less is allowed. They also encourage you to take a different spin on their topics so they fit your own listing needs.
Top Ten Authors I’m Dying To Meet / Ten Authors I Can’t Believe I’ve Met (some other “meeting authors” type spin you want to do)
I have never met an author and I’m not too sure how I’d feel about it if I did. I would love to ask them questions about their book and tell them about how they had an impact on me. But I would also be incredibly nervous for all the things that could go wrong. Since I have a great talent for thinking of every possible worst case scenario, I decided to use it to my advantage today and give you a list of things that could go wrong when meeting authors. This post is by no means to discourage you to visit a meetup, but just to have a laugh!
WARNING: In this post I experimented with Gifs and I went a little crazy.
It could go wrong before it even started. Sleeping through your alarm clock, missing the train, getting struck by lightning. It was supposed to be such a special day and now you’ve missed it. You wouldn’t have been disappointed if you were never planning on going in the first place.
Assuming you didn’t miss the meetup, you are standing in line to meet the author. When it’s finally time to walk up to them, you fall right in front of them! This threat is especially real if you are a complete klutz like me. I couldn’t count the times I have fallen over my own feet if I wanted to.
There is nothing wrong with fangirling. But things could get out of hand real fast. Jumping, screaming, crying and a bunch of OMG’s. You wouldn’t want to completely lose your shit, would you?
Pretty much at the opposite of the spectrum to the fangirl. You could completely shut down. How to get out of this situation… think of something to say… anything… uhhh… I LIKE CATS.
Maybe it happened because you’ve shut down in the previous scenario, maybe you were prepared and knew exactly what you wanted to discuss. You want to say something so bad, but the words are just not coming out right. (no shade to people who stutter)
You walk up to the author you’ve been wanting to meet forever and they just smell horrible. Or even worse, you notice they have bad breath when you start talking to them! Wouldn’t that just ruin the moment? OR YOU COULD SMELL. Oh no…
Now that we’re talking about bad smells. What if you fart… what if you fart… WHAT IF YOU FART?!
Credit for this doomsday scenario goes to my best friend. I asked her “what is the worst thing that could happen when meeting a stranger?” and she instantly replied “Snot coming out of your nose”. I couldn’t agree more. You could have the most wonderful conversation with the author, but if snot starts escaping your nose its all going downhill from there.
Enough about things that could come out of your body. I would personally be most afraid of this one if I ever met an author. Accidentally insulting them. Coming off the wrong way. Imagine them getting angry over something you say or just having a completely wrong impression of you. There’s no coming back from that.
Saving the best for last. Imagine ending the meeting you had with your favorite author with an awkward handshake. These are incredibly painful to watch and even more painful to be a part of. What do you do after? There’s only one possibility… a walk of shame.